Let's back track to Thursday. The day was hectic and followed three days that were equally as hectic. I had an 8:00 a.m. appointment in Burlington to get my eyes checked. I came home, dusted some furniture, fed Nathanial and myself lunch, and then we headed to Burlington for his occupational therapy session. We came home to a power outage. I finished dusting, but I couldn't go any further with the house cleaning without electricity.
So, I decided to grab my mother-in-law and head to the Stampin-Up! lady's house to utilize the gift certificate Lee had purchased for me for Mother's Day. While not necessarily a stressful part of the day, we were there longer than I anticipated. Nathanial was a bit needy by this point and wanting his way and decided to stay with Nana to play Mario Kart (his current obsession) while I met his daddy for dinner...which was back in Burlington, before a church meeting. So, I spent two hours driving to and from Burlington. By the end of the day, I was so tapped out.
Later that evening, Lee and I had an argument, which I won't go into details about, but it left us both going to sleep in a funk. I woke up feeling remorseful and wanting to make things right. In an attempt to do something nice for him, I ordered him a Washington Capitals t-shirt and made him a card with a photo of the Jeep Wrangler he wants when we win the lottery, or he turns forty, whichever comes first. A good start to the morning.
And then...
...I started to make baked beans for an upcoming cookout. First, I spilled the beans. Then, I spilled the barbecue sauce. My kitchen, which was already a mess was becoming messier and I needed it to be cleaned by Saturday for my Mary Kay debut. Now, keep in mind that I had been cleaning here and there all week, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't able to be effective because it had been broken up over so many days. And I was exhausted.
On top of it all, school was on the back of my mind, an ominous, dark cloud of anxiety, uncertainty, and absolute reluctance. Having had such a busy week, the thought that kept reoccurring was "how am I going to do this when school starts?" Between the beans and the sauce and the mess and just being plain tired, I panicked. My heart started palpitating and I let the tears come. So far in this pregnancy, I've pretty well stopped the tears as soon as I have felt them tingle in my eyes, but on Friday, they came. And then, I couldn't make them stop.
I didn't want to go back to school. Back to my messy room that isn't ready, to new kids and new coworkers. My procedures aren't ready. My syllabus isn't ready. I haven't planned my first lessons! I'm leaving my kids for eight weeks for maternity leave!!! That's essentially a grading period. I started freaking out..and crying. And worrying about how I will keep it all together this year.
Lee managed to take a couple of hours to come home and help me sort some things out. We made a few decisions that I think will help make this year run more smoothly. We asked for help in an area I'm fairly certain I will need it: laundry! (Especially when the baby comes) I'm hoping that we will be able to keep it all together, and that I will be able to keep it all together.
What I do know is that today was fun. I enjoyed my Mary Kay debut. Many people in my life have expressed concern that it will add to my stress level. I have very small plans for this side business. I have no intention of earning a pink Cadillac or becoming a director. I just want to order for myself, my friends and family, and to maybe hold a class here and there. If it gets stressful, it will have to go.
What I do know is that the following items are done:
- Dentist appointment
- Eye appointment
- Multiple OB appointments
- Vacation Bible School
- Driver's license renewal
- Inspection
- Oil change
- Capturing Kids Hearts workshop
- Reading Foundations (2 out of 5 days complete)
- Five days of Common Core work
- Bonus room - reorganized
- Furniture in the baby's room put together
- All of Nathanial's 0-3 month clothing washed and put away
- Misc. things that I'm sure I'm not remembering.
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