Luck Happens...

When hard work meets opportunity...

So says my fortune cookie from P.F. Changs this past Saturday. So my question is, how hard do you have to work? And is working hard the same thing as working all of the time? If opportunity is a moment in time, a brief fleeting second that can be missed with the blink of an eye, it seems that this proverb is insinuating that one must work constantly.

I've been thinking a lot about balance today and how it relates to motherhood and raising a baby. There is a balance between working hard and playing hard. A balance between working on your home and enjoying your home. A balance between getting through the daily "chores" and actually experiencing them, living them, being present in them. I think about changing Nathanial's diaper. Don't worry, I'm not going to get too deep over a diaper change. But, it has become such an ordeal. He hates it. He screams and tries to roll away. I get frustrated and end up a ball of negative energy.

Sometimes I look back at things in my life, and I realize that I have forgotten so many things. I don't want to forget changing his diapers. I've already forgotten what it was like to breastfeed and how he felt in my arms when he was two weeks old. I've forgotten how easily it was to change is diaper when he was a little baby!

My point is this: At what point is luck not worth the constant stress, worry, and work that leads us often to the point of experiencing life continually in the past or in the future. Our constant search for the next "opportunity" steals us from the present moment...it steals our joy.

I've spent the last several weeks going back and forth between busting my but and experiencing extreme lathargy. It's like I get a boost of energy and I'm able to substitute, keep the house and laundry going, blog and write articles at night without batting an eye. Then, other days, I don't want to do anything.

As a mom, I realize how important it is to show my son balance. I don't want him to think that life is all work and no play. And, I want to play with him and enjoy him and not just see constant tasks that need done. It's sort of like that Kleenex commercial where the lady is going through her day and experiences "touch, touch, touch, touch, touch," and then she she feels a Kleenex and experiences "feel." That is how I feel I go through my days - I feed, I change clothes, I change diaper, I put down for nap, I wash bottles...I need that "feel" moment. Sometimes, I do feel like I experience him and the moment at night when I'm giving him a bottle. I need quiet time with him. I crave quiet time with him. And with my husband.

Even at this moment, I'm watching Top Chef, chatting with a good friend and typing this blog up - I'm not in the moment.

I'm not sure how to strike this balance. Any suggestions?