Where's Mommy?

The thought of getting a full time job terrifies me. I am currently substitute teaching 2-4 days a week and cleaning my mother-in-law's house. The situation is this: I am always busy. I know Nathanial can feel it. I don't have much time to play or read or teach him things even now, only working a 21-28 hour work week.

In between work, there are always bottles, laundry and other chores that require busyness. I feel like my son gets what is left of me at the end of the day. And yet, options seem few. We are in debt. Much of it is the sum of medical expenses, including Duke visits and physical therapy. And so, I must bring in supplemental income to appease the wolf at the door. Lee has an amazing job and he works exceptionally hard to provide for Nathanial and myself. But it is still not quite enough.

So there must be income. Sigh. And, truthfully, I enjoy substituting. I enjoy being in the classroom. Does that make me bad? A bad mother?

Or, am I a worse mother and wife if I say "No, my place is in the home," thus placing all financial pressure on my husband and denying the ability to catch up much less move forward. What is my place in the home? What is my place in the home?