It has come to my attention that the tension in my household is because of me and my ridiculous reactions to petty, stupid things that at the end of the day should not matter. I twist and I turn Lee's actions, leaving his boxer shorts on the floor of the bathroom for example, into not caring about me and not showing me the love that I need. And it mounts, and it builds until I'm threatening to consult an attorney.
I've watched some pretty atrocious fights occur between my mother and my father (now divorced) and my mother and my step-father (who killed himself the day of their divorce mediation meeting). I am in know way blaming my parents for what has become of how I behave in my relationship with my husband; however, I have been steeped in it, so much so that it's almost normal to me.
But it's not normal to Lee. And it hurts him. Oh how it hurts him.
And so, my "What if..." for the next, God only knows, probably years is this: What if I could change my behavior so that I don't react to my husband so negatively, but rather I lift him up, encourage him, support him, help him and in the process glorify God? What if I could do that? What if our relationship could be completely different than what it currently is?
I believe. Can't never could do anything...
1 comment:
Something that has really changed my relationship is that I try to do one thing everyday to make my husbands life a little better/easier. Sometimes I forget to, but when I do I feel better/more positive whether he notices or not.
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